Saturday, October 28, 2006

Carrie At Bat.

Remember those fifty page books you read as a child about Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and Mickey Mantle that made you wish you were forty years older so that you might have been alive for the hey-day of gritty in-your-face baseball when all the stars were golden and signed autographs for everybody in the house and nobody cheated? Those books still exist, only today they write about Sammy Sosa, Mark Grace, Mark McGwire, and Barry Bonds, but never David Eckstein.

Guess who writes them!

Guess guess guess guess guess guess.
Guess guess guess guess guess guess.

That is correct! Carrie Muskat!

Todd Helton Ejected Helmet July 21 Arizona

Somebody is very interested in Todd Helton's ejection from a game against the Diamondbacks on July 21. So interested that this person has accidentally found himself viewing this blog about ten times or so over the last month. Well.

Here is what happened:

Helton, who went 0-for-4, earned a quick ejection after he requested that plate umpire James Hoye defer to the third-base umpire on a called third strike in the seventh. Helton felt he had checked his swing.

"I wasn't cordial or anything, but I've said a lot worse and not gotten run," said Helton, whose only previous ejection occurred during a bench-clearing fight between the Rockies and the Reds in 2000. "I didn't think I was in any danger of getting myself run.

"I thought I'd at least earned enough to say my say ... but it happens." (article)

USA Today mentioned it here. ESPN, here. The New York Times, too.

Story of the year.

Unfortunately, MLB.com did not include Helton's ejection in their video highlights of the game. However, here is a YouTube video of Helton looking to become the next Crime Dog, sponsoring a product called the I-ON Eye Trainer. Apparently it makes the air thinner and allows you to hit more home runs that way. The program was invented by Dr. Gregory S. Moore, former optometrist for the Chicago Cubs, which makes this relevant. Treating the children as if they were playing slumping major leaguers in a comedy about the Cleveland Indians, the doctor basically blindfolds the children, which brings out the children's latent mito-chlorians so that they might hit the ball not by using their eyes and aiming, but with the Force.

I hope this has helped you, Curious About Todd Helton. Come back soon.

-Pandrew

p.s. - Puljols! Puljols! Puljols! Puljols!

Friday, October 27, 2006

He's Done It Again!

That is what Fox's announcers had to say after David Eckstein reached on Brandon Inge's throwing error, on which Yadier Molina scored. David Eckstein: occasionally around when good things happen to his team.

1. For whomever was interested, Henry Rowengartner's jersey number was 1, although when he played for the Pirates in little league it may have been 17.

2. The Cubs have announced a few additions to the team: Alan Trammel, who looks to be part of another 119-loss team, and these guys. A guy named Lester Strode, who tells us how he lost his wife; Sinatro, another Piniella lackey; and Quade, who just recently returned from Mars and is the addition about whom I am most excited.

3. E-Patt!

2B Eric Patterson -- Patterson, currently riding an eight-game hitting streak, continues to pound the ball. From Oct. 14 through Oct. 25, the 23-year-old infielder went 16-for-34 with six RBIs and 11 runs scored. He recorded his best day on Oct. 24, going 3-for-6 with an RBI double, a two-run single and four runs scored. Patterson is batting .347 (17-for-49) in 12 games.

Cesar, Ronnie: Tengan cuidado, o vayan a perder sus trabajos.

4. Once we finish our season review, we can look toward the future, specifically 2015, when the Cubs will beat Miami in the World Series. Funny that Limbaugh would accuse Fox of acting to exaggerate the effects of Parkinson's disease but forgot that it will only be nine years before Fox gets into illegal gambling.

5. Lastly, my attempt at a World Series political advertisment, in the spirit of the approaching midterm elections:

Little Cardinals Fan is a bastard. She doesn't even know who her father is. What else don't we know about Cardinals Fans?

The St. Louis Cardinals: bad for education, bad for baseball, bad for America.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Tribune Co. Are A Bunch Of Necrophiliacs.

They're screwing us even after we're dead.

Starting next season, fans of the
New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago Cubs and Los Angeles Dodgers will be able to have their ashes put in an urn or be lowered six feet under in a casket emblazoned with their team colors and insignia.

I'm sure this was McDonough's idea.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Season Review: Part 1.

Juan Pierre

Pandrew: Okay Juan Pierre. Best defensive season of his career.
Pandrew: No errors, zone rating of .911 (whatever that means!)
A-Train: That's not even a real stat.
Pandrew: Fine. Fielding Percentage of 1.000
A-Train: Walks declined for the fourth straight year. I know you're going to get on that, so I’ll just get it out of the way.
Pandrew: His July-August-September was almost unbelievably good: .332 AVG, 28 XBH, 27 RBI, 33 SB (though 12 CS)
A-Train: And yet you still want to not re-sign him.
Pandrew: April-May: .239 AVG, I don't need to break down the OBP
A-Train: I'm guessing somewhere in the vicinity of .239.
Pandrew: Somewhere
Pandrew: ODDLY
A-Train: Here's my thing: Outside of Soriano, who's your better idea?
Pandrew: June: .283/.352
A-Train: So he hit well once the weather heated up. I seem to remember somebody predicting that would happen.
Pandrew: I have no idea what manager you are talking about.
A-Train: It seems to have slipped my mind as well.
Pandrew: He's a singles hitter who steals bases.
A-Train: Yeah. but that makes him effectively a doubles hitter.
A-Train: Today at the mall, I saw a Brad Wilkerson t-shirt.
Pandrew: What did it say?
Pandrew: AVG/OBP/SLG!
A-Train: It was one of the pseudo-jerseys. For people who don't want to buy real jerseys.
Pandrew: I say we go with Happy Pie.
A-Train: Oddly enough, it was a Washington jersey.
Pandrew: Oh, I thought you meant T-Shirt.
A-Train: It was a t-shirt. You know what a t-shirt jersey is.
Pandrew: Oh...yes.
Pandrew: I thought you meant like in the mid-90s when Frank Thomas had T-Shirts of him hitting the baseball and a side view of his head.
Pandrew: With his first name in cursive and his last name in BIG BLOCK LETTERS
A-Train: Those are so great
Pandrew: Anyway Pie did this at Iowa this year: .283/.341/.451 with 56 XBH and 17 SB.
A-Train: That's nice.
Pandrew: AND he's only 21.
A-Train: .311/.372/.579 at Iowa. 25 2B, 26 HR.
A-Train: That's what Julio Zuleta did at Iowa in 2000 before we got the bright idea to make him Mark Grace's successor.
A-Train: JUAN PIERRE IS WHO WE THOUGHT HE IS! HE'S WHO WE THOUGHT HE IS!!! AND IF YOU WANT TO GO AHEAD AND CROWN HIM, GO AHEAD AND CROWN HIS !!!
Pandrew: And if he asks for 8-9 million, it's too much for a singles hitter.
Pandrew: During a rebuilding year.
A-Train: Who is effectively a doubles hitter? Who knows.
A-Train: Either way, I think we're getting Soriano.
Pandrew: He's not effectively a doubles hitter
Pandrew: He hits like 174 singles
Pandrew: and turns 56 of those into doubles
Pandrew: but 20 of them into outs
Pandrew: Also
A-Train: I will not back down - a speed guy is important.
Pandrew: This is important
A-Train: That he is a speed guy? Yes.
Pandrew: Zuleta fits right into my minor leaguers getting power once they turn 25 and are still at AAA
Pandrew: theory
Pandrew: Pie is 21
A-Train: Pie can enjoy another year in AAA, then. he's got plenty of time.
Pandrew: So we're only going to sign Pierre for one season
Pandrew: Because why sign him at all, then?
A-Train: I don't think you can figure in a Felix Pie until he proves that he can hit, even in the short term, on the major league level.
A-Train: Okay, let's wrap up Pierre. My choice for CF next year: Soriano. Yours: Pie. Grade?
A-Train: I vote for B. He's a solid ballplayer.
Pandrew: I vote B. He was solid.
A-Train: Man law. On to...Michael Barrett.

Michael Barrett

Pandrew: I often started him over Victor Martinez.
Pandrew: The best non-Brian McCann catcher in the NL.
A-Train: I would just be happy if we'd consistently start him over Geovany Soto.
A-Train: Yes. agreed.
A-Train: Actually, not agreed. He's better than Brian McCann.
Pandrew: Another foul tip and he'll no longer need to use a cup.
A-Train: He'll be eligible for the WMLB.
A-Train: Wow. Lo Duca was the only NL catcher who qualified for the batting title.
Pandrew: Yes
Pandrew: McCann was better in every major offensive and defensive category
A-Train: Yeah. But still, I remain skeptical. I don't need a computer to tell me what players are good.
Pandrew: But you need a computer to talk about it.
Pandrew: One season is a small sample size
Pandrew: But we are only talking about one season.
A-Train: McCann really picked it up after the break, too. Okay. He's good. But Barrett is a sound second.
Pandrew: McCann was better than Barrett this year. Doesn't mean he'll be good next year (his minor league stats suggest a drop off but they too, are a small sample size, as he's only 22)
Pandrew: Back to Barrett
Pandrew: He wins best Cubs moment of the year
A-Train: Punching out A.J.? Yes.
Pandrew: Yes.
Pandrew: He only struck out 41 times in 375 AB
Pandrew: That's really good for a catcher with some pop.
A-Train: A very questionable level of pop-pop, though.
Pandrew: It's difficult to perform in the clutch if you don't have the balls to handle the pressure.
A-Train: People might not know it, but we enjoy Michael Barrett for reasons other than the fact that he got hit in the nuts.
A-Train: Seriously, he's awesome. A-?
Pandrew: I give him an A- because he can't throw out baserunners.
A-Train: Yes he can.
Pandrew: 10 %, then
Pandrew: my bad.
Pandrew: 19%
A-Train: 19% is not terrible.
Pandrew: Blanco: OLD, but also 42.9 %
Pandrew: And he caught for MADDUX
A-Train: Yeah. but Barrett is usually better than that.
Pandrew: Barrett's career is 23%
A-Train: Maddux is tricky, because he doesn't throw fast, but he rarely pitches out of the zone and has a compact windup.
A-Train: And 23% is not bad. It's average.
Pandrew: We aren't rating him on all of the other years of his career.
A-Train: Right. But as this relates to his future, I don't feel unconfident.
Pandrew: If he qualified, Barrett would have been second to last in the majors
Pandrew: Right in front of Martinez
A-Train: Ninth of ten. Because only nine guys qualified.
Pandrew: Wrong
Pandrew: 17 out of 18
A-Train: Apparently batting and fielding have different qualifier rates.
A-Train: They do! 1 game per two team games, so 81 games.
Pandrew: Haha, 1 GM per 2 team GM
A-Train: Then how did he not qualify?
Pandrew: ...I don't know.
Pandrew: But hey, there's Brian Schneider, the guy Montreal thought was better than Barrett. HAHA
A-Train: Hahahaha.
A-Train: A-. MOVING ON.

Derrek Lee

A-Train: This is not The Cubs Season In Review As Written By David Foster Wallace and Mark Z. Danielewski.
Pandrew: Genius.
A-Train: We should cover something that isn't so long, like Derrek Lee's season.
Pandrew: FUCK RAFAEL FURCAL.
A-Train: I know you want to give him an A. I do not.
Pandrew: I don't want to give him an A.
Pandrew: In the small sample size he had maybe a B-, especially coming after last year
A-Train: Well, then we're agreed.
A-Train: I thought we weren't evaluating past years?
Pandrew: We're not. but he set the bar
Pandrew: and was injured all of it.
Pandrew: Can't give him an incomplete, though.
Pandrew: Also, Derrek Lee did not play even a third of the games at first this year
A-Train: He's the first baseman, though
Pandrew: Well, that's like rating Kerry Wood instead of Sean Marshall for SP.
A-Train: No, because Lee will be the 1B next year.
Pandrew: I think we need to grade Mabry's .205 AVG as well, maybe after the pitchers.
A-Train: I'll save you the time: F.
A-Train: I think Derrek is good, as long as people realize that he's not going to have another 2005.
Pandrew: But he's going to be a near .300 guy with a lot of walks and 35-40 HR
A-Train: Exactly.
Pandrew: and as you know he will receive As for that.
Pandrew: Nobody but Pujols puts up triple crown numbers every year.
A-Train: If Steinbrenner picks up enough of A-Rod's contract to trade him to Oakland, certain A's might be receiving him.
Pandrew: The A's could do a lot worse than trading Eric Chavez for A Rod.
Pandrew: Chavez at his best is A Rod this year
A-Train: And the only thing Chavez points his ass at is ground balls.
Pandrew: Okay, Lee gets a B-. Hope his daughter gets better. Still hate Furcal.
A-Train: I'll drink to that. We can add her to our pray-for list, right under Michael Barrett's nuts. Hey, you like underage girls under your nuts, too! Next: Aramis Ramirez.

Aramis Ramirez

Pandrew: Best season of his career. It's a shame the Cubs were losing because he was mashing the hell out of the ball and nobody noticed.
Pandrew: 80 XBH
Pandrew: Career highs in HR, RBI, BB, 3B.
A-Train: Basically, I have nothing negative to say about Aramis.
Pandrew: He only sat out five games.
Pandrew: Baker missed more than that.
Pandrew: His midde name is NIN
A-Train: Anais Nin Ramirez?
Pandrew: It is confirmed.
Pandrew: They traded Matt Bruback and Jose Hernandez for Kenny Lofton and A-Ram
A-Train: The immortal Matt Bruback!
Pandrew: The Pirates didn't have enough RAM to process it.
A-Train: I love our trades with the Pirates. It almost makes our trades with the Marlins palatable.
Pandrew: Also, Aramis had 29 homers at A+ when he was 19.
A-Train: Proving that...he's just really fucking powerful.
-Train: Is there any way that getting rid of him and getting A-Rod is a halfway decent idea, on any level?
A-Train: I tend to vote for "no". and by "tend to", I mean "am fiercely committed that I will not".
Pandrew: If he then exercised his option and became a free agent
Pandrew: and signed with the Cubs immediately.
A-Train: How would that be a reason to trade him?
Pandrew: Because A-Rod could move back to SS
A-Train: We could not get A-Rod without giving up Ramirez.
Pandrew: and then you'd have an infield of D Lee, A Rod, A Ram, and...E Patt
Pandrew: Of course not.
A-Train: more like E-4 am i rite?
Pandrew: rotf!
Pandrew: Here is what I mean
Pandrew: Trade Aramis as soon as the season ends.
Pandrew: Then, as a Yankee
Pandrew: he uses his become a free agent option
Pandrew: and signs back with the Cubs.
Pandrew: I know it doesn't work. Don't trade Aramis.
A-Train: Then he hits Giambi over the head with a chair…
Pandrew: Also Barry Bonds LOL
A-Train: WE ARE ON THE INTERNET HELLO
A-Train: See? Just thinking about Aramis makes me happy.
Pandrew: Aramis plays on a differently level and our one dimensional grading system cannot adequately give him credit.
A-Train: I don't even care if you misinterpret that.
Pandrew: I'd say he made me happy too but you'd probably edit out what you said and then make fun of me.
A-Train: It's okay. It's an innocent kind of happy!Pandrew: Aramis gets A to the Nth degree.
A-Train: Man law.

This concludes part one of the season review. Tune in again in a couple of hours, when we present: Part Two, the bottom half of the lineup.

Monday, October 16, 2006

It's Better Than Going Hard After David Eckstein.

ESPN headline: Source: Piniella expects Cubs to go hard after A-Rod (article)

Sources familiar with the situation told ESPN.com that Piniella, who is extremely close to Rodriguez, expects the Cubs to aggressively pursue the 10-time All-Star. The 63-year-old manager and the 31-year-old Rodriguez have what amounts to a quasi-father/son relationship; Rodriguez was managed in Seattle by Piniella from 1994-2000. It is that relationship -- and the tantalizing talent of Rodriguez -- that has prompted Piniella to want to explore a trade with the Yankees.

Considering the father/son relationship toward which this article slants, I would shy away from the headline "Piniella expects Cubs to go hard after A-Rod". But that's just me.

That said, Rodriguez, if you could get him, is an unbelievable upgrade over Ronny Cedeno/Cesar Izturis. In his last year at shortstop, he had a value over replacement player of 88.4, and last year it was 91.0. Among players with a minimum of 400 PA, only two (Clint Barmes and Yadier Molina) had VORPs lower than Cedeno (-17.1). Even this year, in what has been considered a terrible year for him, Alex Rodriguez had a VORP of 50.4 at third base. 35 HR, 113 RBI, .290/.392/.523.

A Cubs deal with the Yankees potentially could include third baseman Aramis Ramirez, who posted career highs of 38 home runs and 119 RBI in the regular season. It is thought the Yankees would also want a quality starting pitcher in any deal involving Rodriguez.

This makes the deal far less attractive. At this point, Aramis and Alex Rodriguez are worth about the same as third basemen. The only "quality starting pitcher" the Cubs could consider would be Mark Prior, but he is a number one starter when healthy and even if he never returns to 2003 form it would be overpayment to send Prior and Ramirez for A-Rod. You can't get much more out of A-Rod than Ramirez is already putting up. God I am getting nauseous thinking of it.

Piniella, who replaces Dusty Baker after the latter's four-season tenure in Chicago, agreed to a three-year deal, with a club option for a fourth, earlier Monday. He has hired most of his coaching staff and has decided, sources say, to retain Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild.

Go to hell.

In a completely related note, the Chicago Bears just ate the NFL version of the St. Louis Cardinals. Unbelieveable. I'll leave that for A-Train though, but I'll say this:

Devin Hester, I am sorry. You win.

Lou Had Better Hurry If He Wants To Look Presentable Before Tomorrow's Press Conference!


This card must have been printed early last week, when everyone still thought Dewey had won...I mean Piniella had been traded to the Yankees. Also apparently they thought Piniella could replace Sheff in the outfield.

The Cubs get Lou, who will make for some very interesting ballgames next year, if nothing else. And, as we at THS have little hope for the Cubs turning it around next year and expect a number of ugly losses, the Cubs' managing staff might to well to hire a few young guys who won't get worn out holding Lou back.

Maybe the Bears defensive line.

In memory of the moments Lou is bound to give us over the next three years, I give you: The Best Moments In The History Of Lou Piniella, as photographed by The Internet. Compiled by Todd Hundley Sucks.

This is what we are looking forward to most of all, next year. And what a great move by John McDonough--the guy who created the "Cubs Experience", which in his mind had nothing to do with winning but instead an entertaining atmosphere--to hire Mr. Entertainment. We might even rename him Mr. Destiny, but his brother didn't die of a drug overdose to spark his career.

Also, if I were a little less lazy, that would be Urlacher or Tommie Harris or even Office Linebacker Terry Tate giving Lou the reach-around there.

This text needs to go at least down to the end of this picture, and I am running out of things to say about it. I like how Lou is prying the other coach's arm off, as if the coach just doesn't understand what is going on, that Lou will somehow set things straight if bench coach would let him finish. There we go.



Ah, smaller picture. We learn quickly. Here Lou demonstrates just how easily the dirt surrounding home plate could become airborne, distracting a hitter or umpire. Of course, the umpire did not understand, due in part to the dust that Piniella had kicked into the air, confusing him and rendering him incapable of a sound, logical discussion of the matter. I blame the dust, at least.

Alternately, Lou's Latino heritage shows in his love for soccer. Viva futbol, el mejor de los deportes del mundo! (This view is not in any way characteristic of the THS staffers, who prefer baseball, football, and competitive darts on ESPN to soccer. More so on behalf of the A-Train; however we will betray that we both found this year's World Cup somewhat compelling.)


Lou Piniella: A man who reads while having his hair permed. A man whose legs are so smooth that I am uncomfortable thinking about it. A man strong enough to know that passable is not enough, that serviceable good looks cannot win a championship. A man from whom, we can only assume, Alex Rodriguez learned a lot.

Lou Piniella knows that if losing cannot be pretty, he ought to be.

Lou Piniella, whose waxed legs and permed hair are signs of a larger greatness. Lou Piniella: American Hero, Chicago Cub.

We salute you.





Lou managed Tampa
until they cut his hair care
benefits in half.

I Am Starting An Argument.

A-Train posted the following on October 8 in an otherwise fantastic, world-changing post:

[Ron Gardenhire] managed to lose a series to Oakland, who basically invented the concept of "we suck in October because we cannot grasp the idea that postseason baseball is not the same thing as regular season baseball".

Billy Beane: "My shit doesn't work in the play-offs. My job is to get us to the play-offs. What happens after that is fucking luck."

I think that's a clear understanding of a difference.

False!

Cubs' Mailbag (article)

A few years ago, the Cubs led the league in home runs and they were in the middle of the pack in runs. So, they added some speed at the expense of power and now they are dead-last in runs. Why can't they just admit that at least part of the problem is a lack of on-base percentage? It's obvious what side of the "Moneyball" holy war the Cubs are on.
-- Andy T., Richmond, Va.

The problem isn't just the poor on-base percentage but also a lack of situational hitting. Both matters need to be addressed.

The Cubs did almost exactly the same thing with runners on (.264/.325/.414) as they did in all situations (.268/.319/.422). It has nothing to do with situational hitting, unless you assume that the league hits much better with runners on base, which is false (bases empty versus runners on).

Also, this is not a real answer. Kind Andy T asked, "Why can't they just admit that at least part of the problem is a lack of on-base percentage?" Muskat responded, "The problem isn't just the poor on-base percentage," which is exactly what Kind Andy just said. If you have a commitment to being wrong, you ought to read the question instead of what you wish it said.

Anyway, for those of who, like me, have grown to find suspect Larry Rothschild's coaching ability:

Larry Rothschild, who just completed his fifth season as the Cubs pitching coach, was a coach on Piniella's 1990 staff.

Which means he may very well be back to manage another injury-plagued season. Fantastic.

Quick Update.

Piniella Agrees To Manage Cubs (article)

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Something To Look Forward To!

John McDonough's arithmatic.

Here's McDonough on the Cubs' 66-96 record

You win 30 more games and you're back to .500.

Not true. Winning 30 more games gives the team a record of 96-66. Winning 15 games more would have put the Cubs at .500 on the season, at 81-81.

It's tough to squeak out wins against teams like the Pirates (6-9), Padres (0-7), Braves (1-6). Actually if you exclude the Padres, the Cubs had a winning record against winning teams in the National League (27-26). Of course, considering they do this every season.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

FWD: THE YANKEES ARE TOAST!

There have been a number of silly responses to the Yankees' collapse. This is one of my favorites.

Murray Chass believes that Mike Mussina is the reason the Yankees have not won a World Series since he joined the team (and is possibly responsible for their failiures before that).

He writes:

Mussina joined the Yankees as a free agent six years ago. The only other players who have been with the team that long have a bunch of World Series rings:
Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Bernie Williams, Jorge Posada.

Bernie Williams, aging DH: more valuable than Mike Mussina. A winner.

Mussina is the ringleader of the anti-World Series champions:
Jason Giambi, Hideki Matsui, Gary Sheffield, Alex Rodriguez, Jaret Wright, Carl Pavano, Randy Johnson , Johnny Damon, Kyle Farnsworth.

These guys don't deserve to walk the earth (Pavano actually can't.)

Seriously, what have Matsui, Sheffield, A-Rod, and Johnny Damon done but play very good baseball since they joined the team? What are the criteria for being a member of the "anti-World Series Champions"? Not having been on a winning team?

David Eckstein has been on a winning team. Juan Uribe. Ross Gload. Every utility infielder ever who somehow snuck onto a postseason roster.

Neifi Perez has a shot this year.

Mussina, like some players on that list, is a pitcher, and the lack of strong pitching has undermined the Yankees' chances of winning the World Series.

Mike Mussina has been the BEST starting pitcher on the Yankees since 2001!


This is what Mike Mussina has done with the Yankees:

W/L - 92-53
ERA - 3.80 (#1 among Yankees' starters since 2001, minimum 400 IP)
WHIP - 1.179 (#1)
K/BB - 4.11 (#1)
IP/GS - 6.42
K/9 - 7.77 (#3 behind Clemens (8.80) and Johnson ( 8.01))

[Mussina] is the symbol of the Yankees’ failure to win the World Series the last six years. If George Steinbrenner is seeking a scapegoat, make it Mussina.

Or A-Rod, who was still the best third baseman in the league this year. Or Johnny Damon, the best all-around leadoff hitter in the game. Or two great outfielders who happened to BREAK THEIR WRISTS trying to win. LOSERS.

Murray Chass, you may not understand baseball.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Sports Quote Of The Day, Out Of Context (2nd Edition)

"Listen, if Derek Jeter doesn't like you--and Derek Jeter has embraced a lot of different guys over the years--there's a problem."

--Richard Justice, on Alex Rodriguez.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Piniella 3: Back From The Minors.

Joe Torre To Be Fired And Replaced by Lou Pinella (article).

I'm betting that Piniella will be fired during Spring Training.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Russians Have Infiltrated Cubs.com!

The man writing all of the good Cubs.com articles lately is Mark Sheldon, who writes for the Cincinnati Reds and appears to continue doing so. His articles are concise, relevant, and never blame his team's failiures on God/curses.

But isn't that just like a Communist!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Where Is Carrie Muskat? (Part 1)

There is no new information regarding Carrie Muskat's three article absence from Cubs.com. Mark Sheldon continues to perform well. And with Baker gone, the kid might not need to hit .468 to stay in the game. Remember last year when Neifi was playing center field, after Hairston was injured/bad?


The only thing interesting that came out of the search was the discovery that the Cubs' Coordinator of Marketing Administration is Sarah Poontong.

Someone Who Gets It.

John McDonough describing the managerial candidate he would like to hire, Joe Girardi; also, taking a thinly veiled jab at Dusty, who does not "get it," apparently.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Hendry Aims To Have Big Contract Year Before Free Agency, or, alternately, The Sarge Is Dishonorably Discharged!

Maybe he'll get on the juice.

Anyway here's the deal

On Wednesday, the Cubs informed hitting coach Gene Clines, first-base coach Gary Matthews, bench coach Dick Pole, pitching coach Larry Rothschild, third-base coach Chris Speier, bullpen coach Juan Lopez and special assistant Sonny Jackson that the new manager would be responsible for hiring his own staff.

Makes sense. Is Oneri Fleita in there? No? Oh well.

The Cubs' hitters have been last in walks two years in a row by a large margin, and were in the bottom three in 2003-4. A large part of this could be the types of hitters they have been scouting (high contact, low OBP) for the past five years. But if Dusty wasn't willing to put Corey Patterson over his knee, it was Gene Clines' or Sarge Matthews' job to do so. I'm glad K-Patt has found himself in Baltimore, but I'd have much rather had him than Pierre in CF if the Cubs had had a decent hitting coach.

I don't even want to talk about Larry Rothschild. Poor mechanics or overly stressful warm-ups or whatever, there is no excuse for the injuries and the high walk totals. Hopefully somebody else can figure it out. You are the offspring of Satan. If you go to hell, every day will run as follows:

1. Throw curveballs until your elbow is torn to pieces.
2. Rain delay.
3. Throw again.
4. A trip to Northwest Community hospital, where "they put a hamstring from [your] leg into [your] arm so [you] don't know whether to call it a leg or an arm, but will race anybody on [your] hands." (verifiable)
5. Hours after surgery, being brought to the field in a wheelchair to pitch the nightcap.
6. Pass out.
7. Wake up the next morning.
8. Repeat.



I wonder if the Sarge will have his breakout year in Texas, teaching Hank Blalock to be a good hitter and stop dooming fantasy baseball teams everywhere (I know, he had surgery Monday).

Also this article was surprisingly concise, unromantic, and well-written. Which makes total sense because it was written by someone other than Carrie Muskat. Maybe she'll be replaced by...um, Mark Sheldon, as well.

EDIT: Apparently the blog published this, and I didn't. Go blog!

- Pandrew.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Report: Baker To Clog Up ESPN Broadcasts

It's true.

Baker, whose contract was not renewed by the Chicago Cubs on Monday, will join ESPN's postseason baseball broadcast crew this weekend.

A-Train will need to set the over/under for how many times Dusty will:

Sing Neifi Perez's praises.
Make poorly veiled criticisms of the Chicago Cubs.
Demonstrate how taking a walk is dangerous, as it can lead to a double play.
Not trust rookies.
Eat his words.
Give a lecture on "raciest" emplyoment policies.

He'll do color commentary alongside Andy MacPhail. HAHA just kidding.

Also Yankees fans--in the same inning--have chanted MVP for Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Carrie Muskat's Bosses Are The Raciest.

"I always knew I was tough," Baker said, "but now I know I'm really tough."

Earlier today, the Chicago Tribune announced that it would not offer a contract extension to Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker, after a season in which his team finished 66-96, last in the National League.

Carrie Muskat, of course, joined in on the chorus of "Blame Anybody But Dusty." Included in the article:

All of the Cubs players agreed it was unfair Baker, 57, took the blame for the disappointing season.

"He was the main reason why I came over here," Cubs outfielder Jacque Jones said of Baker.

"Maybe some of us should be fired or released, but it's sad that the manager, the coaches, the [general managers], the presidents -- it's sad that those guys have to go."


You mean the guys who were responsible for putting together and managing this 66-96 team? Not sad. And don't worry, Jacque, I'm sure some of your teammates will be cleaning out their lockers.

The lengthy injury list included life threatening blood clots to Glendon Rusch and Freddie Bynum, and an intrascrotal hematoma to catcher Michael Barrett because of a foul tip. Those are things no manager could prepare for.

I'd like to state that there has never been a baseball team that wasn't forced to deal with some sort of injury during the season. I would also like to point out that Glendon Rusch and Freddie Bynum were more integral to the Cubs' 96 losses than they were the 66 wins. Rusch: -12.6 VORP. Bynum: 44 K in 136 AB, with 9 BB and a .308 OBP.

And of course:

Baker wasn't consulted on the deals, such as the Aug. 20 trade which sent Neifi Perez to the Detroit Tigers. Baker found out during the national anthem of the Cubs game that day, and was called off the field to give Perez the news.

Why would the Cubs consult Baker before making ANY deals? He played Bynum and Pagan over Murton for 35 games/175 at-bats. He batted Neifi Perez first or second in the order for 684 AB over the last 2 + seasons (.269/.292/.375). He said that he would have Marshall or Hill in the rotation next year, but not both--which means that if Hill underperformed in spring training, he'd be cut to give Sean Marshall a spot in the rotation.

And also I am sure that the Cubs' brass did not break the news to Baker DURING the national anthem, forcing him to pull Neifi aside DURING the national anthem. Way to demonize your bosses, though, Carrie. Because we all know how un-American the Chicago Tribune has been (1919).
"We've been through a lot this year," Cubs outfielder Matt Murton said. "We've had a lot of new faces in this clubhouse, and no matter what happened, we went out there and continued to fight and compete. We didn't have the success we wanted in the win and loss column, but we won our last game, which was nice."

Thank you for seeing the silver lining, Murtron, and for being a robot incapable of feeling sorry for this "dude." Now please have a crazy journey through New York before upgrading your processor so that you can prove PECOTA and the Baseball Prospectus wrong by displaying considerable power next year.

We'll have something a little more substantial about Dusty tomorrow, but until then here is my favorite picture.


















Umpires are the raciest.